


when hope is gone

by Elizabeth (anghraine)



Series: Rime Royal [4]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Jane Austen Fusion, F/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 09:58:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10332080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anghraine/pseuds/Elizabeth
Summary: Three years before they got news of a planet-killer, the Alliance sent a young operative to re-open communications with Saw Gerrera, and peel off as many recruits as possible without alerting Saw. Cassian Andor followed his orders to the letter—though he needed some reminding when he fell in love with Saw's brash, daring protégée, Jyn Erso.Now, Jyn believes she's put Cassian's abandonment firmly in the past. She doesn't bother remembering him, she doesn't wonder about him, she doesn't care about him. Even when the war brings them together again.(AKA a fusion with Jane Austen'sPersuasion, with Jyn as Wentworth and Cassian as Anne.)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Remembrance of Pain (Time Will Explain)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9984434) by [Jaded](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaded/pseuds/Jaded). 



**1**

At nineteen, Jyn had been the finest of Saw Gerrera’s fighters for years. Saw himself, hardly extravagant with praise, said so when anyone presumed to question her place at his right hand. Yet, afterwards, it was also Saw who said _you’re a child_ , as if anyone in his orbit ever remained a child.

Kaytoo, who agreed with him about nothing else, assured Cassian that he shouldn’t blame himself. _You would be obsolete if you were a droid, but your species is much less efficient, and my data assure me that during fifteen to thirty years of functionality, humans exist in an early stage of development, so it is only to be expected that you require additional input._

But even then, neither of them were children: not Lieutenant Cassian Andor, accomplished agent of the Rebel Alliance, and certainly not Jyn Erso, a hardened Partisan soldier with a long string of successes behind her.

But they _were_ very young.

**2**

Jyn didn’t think much about Cassian after he left her. Yes, she had a few bad moments at first, felt shattered for a good long day, but she quickly understood what he was: not the selfless, talented, purposeful man she’d thought, whose unyielding conviction made it all seem worthwhile, but passive, blindly obedient, as pliant and ruthless a tool as any stormtrooper. So she forgot about him, or something like forgetting.

The incident (she always called it that in her mind, because it was too brief for “relationship” and too _much_ for “fling”) lingered more in resentment than remembrance. She threw herself into the fight, yet found inadequacies where she never had before, whether strikes in obscure corners of the galaxy or quasi-flirtations with other Partisans.

The latter in particular were … she didn’t have to recall anything in particular, even think a name, to feel dissatisfied when some would-be lover looked tolerant rather than delighted, interested rather than admiring—when he smiled like he saw an attractive woman, and not like an entire galaxy of stars might be contained within her.

Cassian was weak, she reminded herself, whenever she faltered, whenever resentment edged towards wistfulness: and weakness was the worst flaw of them all.

**3**

“The strongest stars have hearts of kyber,” a perfect stranger said.

At the sight of him, Jyn’s mind instantly went to her mother; he wore the same sort of robes, carried the same sort of simple staff, and his blind eyes followed the clutch of her hand over Lyra’s crystal. When he told her he was Chirrut Îmwe, and—along with his partner, Baze Malbus—a former Temple guardian, she immediately warmed to him.

She didn’t trust him right away, of course. Saw had taught her better than that, and in a different way, Cassian. But they supplied information in exchange for supplies, and sometimes in exchange for nothing but conversation, and she liked them.

The first time Baze called her _little sister_ , she nearly jumped; within a month, she’d grown accustomed; and within the year, it felt true.

**4**

For all his harshness and paranoia, Jyn loved Saw. But though she appreciated his devotion, the trust he placed in her, the authority she’d come to hold, the work of constantly restraining his worst impulses wore on her more than battle or loss. Loving Saw carried a heavy price, and at times, she resented him as much as she loved him.

She knew he ought to be more family than anyone else, after all these years, but she couldn’t help clinging to the memory of her parents, the hope that her father still lived and still cared about her. And she couldn’t help the quicker, warmer connection she felt to Baze and Chirrut, whom she’d known for a fraction of her time with Saw.

They made their bargains with the Partisans, but for Jyn, they would come running at a word, and ask nothing in return. There was no cost, in either obligation or pain; and she hadn’t known anything like that in a long, long time.

**5**

Jyn’s mind spun ahead, to possibilities and impossibilities, even as she swallowed her last sobs and wiped her face.

“We don’t have the resources.”

Bodhi Rook, spared by her intercession and dragged along to a rendezvous with Baze and Chirrut, burst out, “But you’ve got to do something, your father—”

“Yelping won’t change the facts,” Baze snapped, “and even if she gets Gerrera onboard, he doesn’t have the firepower for this.”

“But we know who does,” said Chirrut, a terrible sympathy on his face, as if he really did sense the raw antipathy that flashed through her.

Jyn, burying all weakness, nodded. “The Rebel Alliance.”

**6**

On the face of it, the disastrous mission that flung Cassian into Jyn’s life had actually been a success. He’d tracked Saw down, convinced him (via Jyn) to open communications with the Rebellion, arranged exchanges of goods and services, and recruited a few disaffected Partisans without alienating Saw, which—say—subverting his daughter might have done.

Three years later, the two organizations remained on reasonably cooperative terms, so it wasn’t too difficult to convince Saw that they needed to send Galen’s message to the Rebellion. With Bodhi, Chirrut, and Baze volunteering as couriers, he didn’t even have to spare any pilots or fighters. Or Jyn, which she both welcomed and resented, until they received a coded message from Baze saying that the Rebels had seen the message and seemed to be taking it seriously, but wanted to deal with at least one actual Partisan and pick Jyn’s brain in particular.

That took more doing, but Saw was not one to put personal disinclinations above the cause. As soon as she could pack her sparse belongings, Jyn—with no great love for the Rebellion and certainly no good associations, but plenty of curiosity—set out for Yavin IV.

**7**

When Jyn flew into the Rebel base, she knew she might see Cassian’s face again, but she herself didn’t know what she expected to find in it, what she expected he would look like now—only that once, she’d thought him beautiful.

At nineteen, Jyn couldn’t stop stealing glances at the Rebel agent, with his fine bones and intense dark eyes, slim body and hesitant smiles, all united by general boyish good looks. At twenty-two, she didn’t even notice him there, her eyes sliding past the haggard officers in the background as she talked to the generals and senators.

Later, Ruescott Melshi helped her by naming off the officers he thought she should know, and Jyn could hardly believe her ears when he said,

“You’ll remember Andor, of course, he’s a captain now—”

 _Cassian?_ she thought incredulously. He must be tired and strained, they all were, but even the news of a planet-killer couldn’t account for his thin, lined face and blank eyes; he looked as if he’d aged twelve years in the last three.

With perfect honesty, she said, “I wouldn’t have known him again.”


End file.
